Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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