thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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