just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
