do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
