I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
