i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
