the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
not ubering you a puppy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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