Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
