We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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