with your own penis?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
