if i can run in heels then i can drive
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
