Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
