I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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