saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
