i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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