he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
