I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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