He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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