see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
