My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
