carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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