I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
