that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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