Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
