Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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