Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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