College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Damn victory sex feels great
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
