That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
