even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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