that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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