I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
