So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
