so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
