I want to make a zoo with you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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