Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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