he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
