And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
