fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
