Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
