I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
