I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize
