I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
