I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
