not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Let's paint friendship bongs
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
