I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
