Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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