I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
