If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
