Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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