i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize