I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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