Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
